Okay, Eric. You’re right.

Bill Walton sucks.

I have never heard a more one-sided commentary from a national network sports announcing personality than Bill Walton’s Spurs Love-Fest during Sunday afternoon’s Indiana-San Antonio game.

And the worst part? For a while there, I was an apologist – a person that thought Bill Walton was interesting and had funny things to say. I thought he was a valuable part of any broadcasting crew.

I used to hear from all of my Timberpup-loving friends that Walton was horrible, as if he was the scourge of televised basketball, a man that was single handedly tearing apart the league as we hopelessly watched. He would side with the Los Angeles Lakers nearly incessantly, but you know what – they were winning, and I thought it was kind of fun to watch my friends squirm. I hated the Lakers, but I didn’t listen to the announcers at that time. I didn’t get the chance to watch professional basketball and actually hear the announcing, let alone dissect Walton’s never-ending stream of words.

But Sunday, I turned to the light. I listened to Walton. And I hated every minute of it.

Ask Kerrie – there were times I was screaming at the television after Walton said yet another pro-Spurs, anti-intelligence type thing. “I thought you liked him,” she said, to which I reply, “I DID…but now I realize what Eric and Ryan used to bitch about!”

The game was close throughout, even as the Pacers took a seven-point lead with 1:30 left (a lead that they, in true Indiana fashion, pissed down their leg quicker than they could run into the stands.) Still, you’d never know by listening to Walton. Tony Parker (6-15 shooting) was being hailed as the best thing since Magic Johnson, and Tim Duncan (4-15 shooting) was “having a bad night,” with no mention of Indiana’s defense.

Even Rasho Nesterovic – a center that couldn’t even make the rotation in the Finals last year, was getting more praise than any Pacer on the court. Every time it looked like he may have blocked a shot, Walton would practically shriek with delight, regardless of the fact that he had 4 points, 2 boards and 1 block. If I had never watched a game of basketball in my entire life before this one, I’d have thought the Spurs were undefeated, the Pacers were freshly installed from the NBDL, and that Rasho was on his way to the Hall of Fame.

Sometimes, his broadcast partners would get on his case. During one wobbly Fred Jones pass, Walton exclaimed, “You should not be attempting that pass. That was a horrible pass.”

To which Steve “Snapper” Jones replied, “He still caught it, Bill!”

Later, after “Snapper” mentioned how Indiana backup center David Harrison was playing well against Tim Duncan, Walton replied with the following snide barb:

“You can never compare David Harrison and Tim Duncan. You’ll never be able to do that.”

I agree with this overall, but it wasn’t a straight comparison of Harrison to Duncan as overall players – just how the two were matching up on this specific night. What then took the cake is that Walton had the audacity to compare Rasho Nestrovic’s skyhook to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar!

Just to show how lame Bill Walton is, I’ve pulled a bunch of horrible Walton quotes from a NBA message board – you can reach it here.

Enjoy the rampant hyperbole in these quotes. And don’t be afraid to say, “I told you so.”

I already know you did.

Bill Walton Quotes:

“Manu Ginobli is one of the all time greats” (See, blatant Spurs gushing about a third-year player that’s been to ONE All-Star game.)

“Kenyon Martin is the 2nd best player in the (eastern) conference.” (he’s barely ever been the 2nd best player on his team)

“Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet”

“Steve Nash is the most unathletic player in the league” (Kerrie will LOVE that one, especially since she’s seen Big Oliver Miller, the TRUE “most unathletic player”, in person when he played for the Wolves.)